[delete]
That is where my first attempt at the blog was. I was trying to be the nice person and be very generic while complaining about my life. But I have decided I'm burnt out on that. I'm unhappy and I want to be allowed to say it. I mean, it is my blog and all.
I'm tired of people lying. I'm tired of people saying they are your friend and then burning you the first chance they get. I'm tired of watching people whom I trusted abuse others. And I'm sure as heck tired of them pretending they aren't.
Another thing. I'm tired of people abusing the Word of God. Do NOT write Bible verses and use God's name for your own agenda. Do NOT post in your facebook status how much you try to live by His design. Do NOT insult me or anyone else by pretending you live for HIM. If you knew a darn thing about the Bible, you would know verses like Matthew 7:5 "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then youwill see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." or John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." I believe that one includes being willing to lay down his life.
I'm not sure what pains me the most. Your attitude, or your absolute disregard for others than yourself. The best part is, I have ONE person in mind right now. And I have half a freaking mind to call you out. But I do have a small amount of couth left, enough to spare you that embarrassment. Consider it a favor to a REAL friend. Which you have proven you aren't. I'm sure several people reading this will think I am talking about them, but they'd be wrong. I am speaking only to YOU.
I thought I knew you. My husband called you "brother". You fooled us all. You showed your true colors. I expected more from someone your age.
You broke my heart.
I believe in forgive and forget. I heard it best somewhere that I would forgive you and then forget you. But I do not forgive you. The Bible tells me to, I do not. Someday maybe. Today is not that day.
For today, today you are smelling like a rose that somebody gave you on your birthday deathbed...... And here is where I [delete] you.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Come and knock on my door...
So after it took me hours to fall asleep last night I started having a nightmare. It was a really gross one. I was dreaming I was in my house and there were roaches everywhere. All over the walls were the big ones and the carpets were littered with like, baby ones or something. Important part? THEY WERE EVERYWHERE. And gross.
So I wake up at like 3am from this nightmare to decide I simply MUST clean my house up. Not that it's dirty, just because. So at 3am, I get up and clean up the bedroom. I clean the bathroom except the floor cause the Swiffer is downstairs and once I've locked myself in the room for the night, I don't exit it again. I finally got back in bed ready to go back to sleep. Ugh. Just thinking about this dream now makes me itchy all over. I hate bugs.
On another note, I spent some time today thinking about how much time I spend alone. Obviously when Brandon is gone I spend more time alone, but I realized today I kinda shut myself off from the rest of the world. I work alone, I drive alone, I eat alone, I shop alone, I spend time with my babies alone. Lots of time to myself. lol. It's not bad though. I don't feel lonely much. I'm very content with myself and my life. Just an observation. Guess it comes from being married to the military. :)
So I wake up at like 3am from this nightmare to decide I simply MUST clean my house up. Not that it's dirty, just because. So at 3am, I get up and clean up the bedroom. I clean the bathroom except the floor cause the Swiffer is downstairs and once I've locked myself in the room for the night, I don't exit it again. I finally got back in bed ready to go back to sleep. Ugh. Just thinking about this dream now makes me itchy all over. I hate bugs.
On another note, I spent some time today thinking about how much time I spend alone. Obviously when Brandon is gone I spend more time alone, but I realized today I kinda shut myself off from the rest of the world. I work alone, I drive alone, I eat alone, I shop alone, I spend time with my babies alone. Lots of time to myself. lol. It's not bad though. I don't feel lonely much. I'm very content with myself and my life. Just an observation. Guess it comes from being married to the military. :)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Do as you're told or bad things will happen
All I can say is hahahaha. :) So, background... Memphis is allergic to grass. Which is funny in itself, but seriously, so I give him Benadryl daily. It has helped tremendously. Except on his back left foot. Apparently it itches a lot because he just won't stop chewing on that one foot. In one spot. Well, we all know what happens when you do that.
He has a "hot spot". A raw spot between two toes. Unfortunately, the problem then becomes, no matter how much medicine I give him, it will keep itching. As long as he chews, it will itch.
I told him not to chew. I told him bad things would happen. Some kids have to learn the hard way...
He has a "hot spot". A raw spot between two toes. Unfortunately, the problem then becomes, no matter how much medicine I give him, it will keep itching. As long as he chews, it will itch.
I told him not to chew. I told him bad things would happen. Some kids have to learn the hard way...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Start your day off right!
So last night when I checked the mail, my trusty T-Mobile bill was waiting for me. Usually I never open them, just pay them online, but this time I decided that since we had made a couple of changes, I'd check. $148!!! What the heck?!?!?!
So then begins the mad scramble through tons of tiny font pages to find where those charges are coming from. I find them, on Brandon's line, in the amount of $15.98. Title? "Premium Charges". What does that even mean?? Because of the late hour I had to wait til this morning to call. I make the call and ask for a representative trying to stay calm so I don't take my frustration out on the other end.
A guy picks up almost immediately. Star #1. I explain my issue and he says, I know that is annoying. Lets have a look. Don't worry. Star #2. He says, well it looks like it was downloads, 3rd party and in house. I say, But my husband is gone, I have his phone.... He says well let me see what I can't find. Give me just a second. Then he says, Oh, it looks like they charged him twice for his game. I'll credit that right back. Star #3. "And 3rd party is like when you're watching tv and they want you to text an astrologer to learn your fake future." he says. I laugh, automatic Star #4. I said, Can we just turn that off? Cause it was so unintentional. He says absolutely, I think I can even credit some of the charges back. Ok, all done. What else can I help you with today? STAR #5
I have never been so pleased. I am reminded why I love T-Mobile. I am reminded why I keep my cell phone with them and how great they are. And what could have set my day off very poorly instead brought a smile to my face and a spring in my step. Go T-Mobile. :)
So then begins the mad scramble through tons of tiny font pages to find where those charges are coming from. I find them, on Brandon's line, in the amount of $15.98. Title? "Premium Charges". What does that even mean?? Because of the late hour I had to wait til this morning to call. I make the call and ask for a representative trying to stay calm so I don't take my frustration out on the other end.
A guy picks up almost immediately. Star #1. I explain my issue and he says, I know that is annoying. Lets have a look. Don't worry. Star #2. He says, well it looks like it was downloads, 3rd party and in house. I say, But my husband is gone, I have his phone.... He says well let me see what I can't find. Give me just a second. Then he says, Oh, it looks like they charged him twice for his game. I'll credit that right back. Star #3. "And 3rd party is like when you're watching tv and they want you to text an astrologer to learn your fake future." he says. I laugh, automatic Star #4. I said, Can we just turn that off? Cause it was so unintentional. He says absolutely, I think I can even credit some of the charges back. Ok, all done. What else can I help you with today? STAR #5
I have never been so pleased. I am reminded why I love T-Mobile. I am reminded why I keep my cell phone with them and how great they are. And what could have set my day off very poorly instead brought a smile to my face and a spring in my step. Go T-Mobile. :)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Love, Death, and Moving on...
I have a sincere love for photography and photo editing. Love. In my spare time, and I have lots of spare time, I have been really working hard at getting some serious editing and creating done because soon enough I won't have much spare time left. I decided that for memorial day I would work on some memorial pieces. So far I'm pretty pleased with how they are turning out. Maybe when they are done, I'll put some on here. Maybe. haha.
It's sad really. The whole time I edit them I cry. These men, these men who called my husband friend are left to be photos on someone's computer. They are a name on a rock. These men who were someone's brother, son, husband, father, friend. We give lip service and say they will never be forgotten, and to some that is true. But eventually and over time, they will be forgotten. Eventually there will be no one left to visit the stone that adorns their resting bodies. And that is sad. I've had the pleasure of meeting several beautiful women via facebook who unfortunately carry a title I pray to God I never have to carry. widow. These women are amazing in not only their strength but also their ability to move on and make something good come from their loss.
I heard it said once that love holds the greatest risk in our lives. I believe that. Because to love someone is to give them complete control over yourself. They have the control to break your heart, to make you infinitely happy, to give up on you, and to force you to keep fighting. But I can promise you, that in the end, it is always worth it. Love is the strongest thing there is. The Lord Himself says so, so I believe it.
Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
It's sad really. The whole time I edit them I cry. These men, these men who called my husband friend are left to be photos on someone's computer. They are a name on a rock. These men who were someone's brother, son, husband, father, friend. We give lip service and say they will never be forgotten, and to some that is true. But eventually and over time, they will be forgotten. Eventually there will be no one left to visit the stone that adorns their resting bodies. And that is sad. I've had the pleasure of meeting several beautiful women via facebook who unfortunately carry a title I pray to God I never have to carry. widow. These women are amazing in not only their strength but also their ability to move on and make something good come from their loss.
I heard it said once that love holds the greatest risk in our lives. I believe that. Because to love someone is to give them complete control over yourself. They have the control to break your heart, to make you infinitely happy, to give up on you, and to force you to keep fighting. But I can promise you, that in the end, it is always worth it. Love is the strongest thing there is. The Lord Himself says so, so I believe it.
Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Jumbled Thoughts :)
Is there no bright spots left in the world? Sometimes I feel that way. Today is one of those days.
Often I just feel like no matter how much effort you put into something that it is inevitably going to fail. No I'm not saying give up on everything, just saying it's annoying.
What am I going to do for the rest of the day? Who knows. Nothing productive, I can tell you that! I think I'll probably take a nap. I never allow myself naps because I feel they waste the day, but its kinda overcast and there is nothing good on tv so why the heck not??
I've been spending a lot of time lately trying to figure out the rest of our life and let me tell you, it is no easy! Worrying about jobs and cars and housing and money etc... It just keeps piling up! And the babies, oh the babies. They have become accustomed to a certain way of life. haha, They certainly love their treats. :)
I miss being a child wishing to be a grown up, the worries were much smaller. Now I'm a grown up wishing to be a child. Ironic, huh.
So this jumble fest is over. Maybe the next one will make more sense. :)
Often I just feel like no matter how much effort you put into something that it is inevitably going to fail. No I'm not saying give up on everything, just saying it's annoying.
What am I going to do for the rest of the day? Who knows. Nothing productive, I can tell you that! I think I'll probably take a nap. I never allow myself naps because I feel they waste the day, but its kinda overcast and there is nothing good on tv so why the heck not??
I've been spending a lot of time lately trying to figure out the rest of our life and let me tell you, it is no easy! Worrying about jobs and cars and housing and money etc... It just keeps piling up! And the babies, oh the babies. They have become accustomed to a certain way of life. haha, They certainly love their treats. :)
I miss being a child wishing to be a grown up, the worries were much smaller. Now I'm a grown up wishing to be a child. Ironic, huh.
So this jumble fest is over. Maybe the next one will make more sense. :)
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